Homesickness

Yes, it was bound to happen. And yes, I knew to expect it. But dadgum if it didn’t surprise me this evening! There I was, relaxing with my book after a reasonably pleasant day of work when the thought suddenly popped into my head “I’m reading my book alone. And then I will eat supper alone. And after that, I will go to sleep, wake up, and walk to work alone. And then, when I go out to eat, it will be alone. And I’ll go to the movies alone. And sit by myself at church. And I’ll sit by myself at coffee shops.” And it was just terrible! And that’s the problem with having an active imagination; I just had this vision of swaths of time spent alone, talking to myself occasionally just to hear someone’s voice.

Happily, I snapped out of that dismal train of thought fairly quickly (with the help of my wonderful sisters and friends)! I just need to find my niche here and get to where I have folks near my own age here that I can hang out with from time to time. Also, leaving my apartment and going to the library and then to the coffee shop nearby was a top notch idea! Even if I’m not talking to them, it’s still great to have people around clanking dishes and absentmindedly asking the world what a five letter word for tree, third letter T is. And I know I will have more days like this when I feel dreadfully alone, but I also know that those will pass and that even if they are a terribly long way away, I do have people there for me and praying for me.

But I have to say, I have a really wonderful job. Crossroads Urban Center is a top notch place dedicated to the combination of giving people direct services like food, clothing, and assistance with other necessities and advocacy work to make Utah a better place for the impoverished, minorities, and people with disabilities. And the best thing is that I get to help out with all of it. I spend some of my time working in the food pantry, all day yesterday, I was sorting clothes and such at the thrift store (they had some awesome denim shirts with embroidered squirrels and shoulder pads if anyone wants them! Or a sweet muumuu! Ha!). And I am also helping out with a Las Posadas procession around our downtown with area churches in memory of Mary and Joseph’s search for a room in the inn (donkey included!). But we are also emphasising a deeper meaning by tying it in with the rights of undocumented workers and those we are turning away. So I definitely feel that my work will be relevant not only as my position as a Young Adult Missionary, but also as a Christian, and I certainly hope that I will continue to feel that way even if I do get homesick or lonely or cranky along the way (which I certainly will!)